Script writing exercise

Someone sent me an entire series of Teacher/Student jokes a while back. I started to discard them, then realized with a bit of thought they could be rewritten into a comedy vent routine. I started on the project, rewriting the first three jokes on the list:

F: I can't believe teacher gave me a failing grade in World Geography!
V: How did that happen?
F: Each student had to answer just one question.
V: Easy enough.
F: Teacher asked Maria to go to the map and find North America.
V: And was she able to do so?
F: Sure - she pointed it out perfectly. Then it was my turn.
V: You had to locate another continent?
F: No, teacher asked me "Who discovered America"?
V: Did you know the answer?
F: Sure - it was MARIA! (pause) But teacher didn't like my answer.
V: Hmmm. And I'm not sure I like the fact that your knees are dirty.
F: I had to get on the floor to do my multiplication.
V: Why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
F: Teacher told me to do it without using tables. And then teacher asked, "How do you spell 'crocodile?'
V: How do you spell "crocodile"?
F: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
V: No, that's wrong.
F: Maybe it is wrong, but that's how I spell it.

That's as far as I got with the rewriting. Here's the rest of the jokes if you want to take it from here:

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
* * * * *
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
* * * * *
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
* * * * *
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
* * * * *
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..
* * * * *
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
* * * * *
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
* * * * *
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher


  1. James Tucker11/14/2010

    These jokes are great.

  2. Anonymous11/14/2010

    Yes, they are clever. LeeDean