"The Bully"

The following puppet routine was reprinted from The Puppet Show Vol. 1, a book of 25 puppet/ventriloquist routines, first published by Canoe Productions, copyright 1984, and subsequently published and sold by Maher Studios. It is one of 30+ books now up for sale on my weekly 99cent eBay auctions. You can see all my current auctions: Click Here.

By Marty Wilson & Lewis Lansford

(Three Puppets)

1: Hi, (Name of #2). My Mom gave me five dollars today. She said we could go downtown and get some ice cream after school.2: That sounds great! Why'd she give you five dollars?

1: I cleaned up the back yard when she didn't even ask me, and she said she was proud of me and stuff.

2: That's neat! Is it okay if we go after football practice?

1: Oh yeah. I forgot about football. I'm too little to play with you big guys. Sure...we can go when you're through practicing.

2: Great! I'll see you then. Bye! (Exits)

3: (Enters) Hey, squirt!

1: Are you talking to me?

3: Yeah, I'm talking to you, punk. Who'd you think I was talking to, the wall?

1: I'd better go.

3: No way, shrimp. I'm not done with you yet.

1: What do you mean you're not done with me?

3: I mean what I say, and I said I'm not done with you yet. You owe me some money, and I want it now.

1: What? I don't owe you any money.

3: So you're going to welch on me, huh? Well, I guess I'm going to have to teach you a lesson.

1: Listen...I said I don't owe you any money.

3: (Moves closer) I think I'm going to need to help your memory a little bit. You aren't very cooperative.

1: I know you're bigger than me, and you can probably beat me up, but I still don't owe you any money.

3: (Moves closer) I think you do owe me some money, and I want it now!

1: (Shaking) Okay, okay. I'll give you five dollars!

3: What a sucker! (Laughs)

2: (Enters) What's going on here?

3: Oh, nothing much.

1: This guy just took my money...he said I owed it to him.

2: Did you owe him a five dollars, (#1's name)?

1: No, but he kept saying he was going to help me memory, and stuff like that.

2: Oh, a bully, huh?

3: Hey...listen. I was just kidding. I wouldn't have kept his five dollars. You were right (#1's name). You didn't owe me any money.

2: Listen, (#3's name), I don't ever want to see you trying to bully my friend again, understand?

3: Yeah...never again...I promise.

2: I don't like people who pick on people smaller than them. What do you think you're trying to prove? How tough you are? Let's see how tough you are.

3: No! No...that's okay.

2: I'm going to be watching you, and I don't want to hear of you bullying anybody ever again. I want you to be nice to people and help them, not hurt them. Especially if they are smaller than you.

3: Okay, (#1's name), I'm sorry I tried to take your money. I don't know what I was trying to prove. I guess I don't have many friends, and I wanted someone to look up to me.

1: It must be a drag having no friends. (Whispers in the ear of #2.)

2: Okay, it's a deal.

1: (# 3's name), I want to be your friend. If you want to, you can come with us to get ice cream after school.

3: It sounds great...but I don't have any money.

1: It's okay! I have five dollars! (All laugh and exit.)


1 comment:

  1. This sort of banter, patter, bits of business I love.