The following puppet routine was reprinted from The Puppet Show Vol. 1, a book of 25 puppet/ventriloquist routines, first published by Canoe Productions, copyright 1984, and subsequently published and sold by Maher Studios. It is one of 30+ books now up for sale on my weekly 99cent eBay auctions. You can see all my current auctions: Click Here.
THE BULLY
By Marty Wilson & Lewis Lansford
(Three Puppets)
1: Hi, (Name of #2). My Mom gave me five dollars today. She said we could go downtown and get some ice cream after school.2: That sounds great! Why'd she give you five dollars?
1: I cleaned up the back yard when she didn't even ask me, and she said she was proud of me and stuff.
2: That's neat! Is it okay if we go after football practice?
1: Oh yeah. I forgot about football. I'm too little to play with you big guys. Sure...we can go when you're through practicing.
2: Great! I'll see you then. Bye! (Exits)
3: (Enters) Hey, squirt!
1: Are you talking to me?
3: Yeah, I'm talking to you, punk. Who'd you think I was talking to, the wall?
1: I'd better go.
3: No way, shrimp. I'm not done with you yet.
1: What do you mean you're not done with me?
3: I mean what I say, and I said I'm not done with you yet. You owe me some money, and I want it now.
1: What? I don't owe you any money.
3: So you're going to welch on me, huh? Well, I guess I'm going to have to teach you a lesson.
1: Listen...I said I don't owe you any money.
3: (Moves closer) I think I'm going to need to help your memory a little bit. You aren't very cooperative.
1: I know you're bigger than me, and you can probably beat me up, but I still don't owe you any money.
3: (Moves closer) I think you do owe me some money, and I want it now!
1: (Shaking) Okay, okay. I'll give you five dollars!
3: What a sucker! (Laughs)
2: (Enters) What's going on here?
3: Oh, nothing much.
1: This guy just took my money...he said I owed it to him.
2: Did you owe him a five dollars, (#1's name)?
1: No, but he kept saying he was going to help me memory, and stuff like that.
2: Oh, a bully, huh?
3: Hey...listen. I was just kidding. I wouldn't have kept his five dollars. You were right (#1's name). You didn't owe me any money.
2: Listen, (#3's name), I don't ever want to see you trying to bully my friend again, understand?
3: Yeah...never again...I promise.
2: I don't like people who pick on people smaller than them. What do you think you're trying to prove? How tough you are? Let's see how tough you are.
3: No! No...that's okay.
2: I'm going to be watching you, and I don't want to hear of you bullying anybody ever again. I want you to be nice to people and help them, not hurt them. Especially if they are smaller than you.
3: Okay, (#1's name), I'm sorry I tried to take your money. I don't know what I was trying to prove. I guess I don't have many friends, and I wanted someone to look up to me.
1: It must be a drag having no friends. (Whispers in the ear of #2.)
2: Okay, it's a deal.
1: (# 3's name), I want to be your friend. If you want to, you can come with us to get ice cream after school.
3: It sounds great...but I don't have any money.
1: It's okay! I have five dollars! (All laugh and exit.)
End