From Start To Finish...

V: Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet my best friend, (Figure's name). We have worked together for a long time now, and there's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for him.
F: And there's nothing I wouldn't do for you either.
V: Why, thank you, (Figure's name).
F: Which is why we've spent our lives doing nothing for each other.
* * * * * *
F: Before we go, can I leave these folks with some words of advice?
V: Okay. Go ahead.
F: (To audience) Be nice to your friends. If it weren't for them you'd all be total strangers!

From the book Start To Finish. A collection of 100 ventriloquist dialogue gags to be used in opening and closing shows and all in between. By Pam Sterner. This book is among the many for sale at www.maherbookstore.blogspot.com